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Moving a Parent to Memory Care? Here’s What You Need to Know

Moving a parent to memory care is an understandably emotional transition. It can come with feelings of sadness, frustration, and anxiety, even if the entire family knows the move is the right choice. While making the move to memory care won’t be stress-free, there are ways families can make the process smoother.

What is Memory Care?

Before your family can decide if memory care is the right choice, you need to know exactly what memory care is.

Memory care is sometimes called dementia care or Alzheimer’s care; it is a specific form of senior care dedicated to older adults living with memory loss or other cognitive limitations. Families typically access these services in a dedicated memory care community or a memory care neighborhood of a broader assisted living community.

Services and amenities that memory care communities  typically offer include:

Is It the Right Time for Memory Care?

Sometimes it’s hard to know when it’s the “right time” for more advanced care. But the truth is that there is no universal “right time.” The right time for your family is based on your loved one‘s unique needs, your family’s broader safety concerns, and more.

To determine if memory care (or another level of programming) is the right choice, you and your family may consider discussing the following common concerns with a healthcare provider: 

The experiences above do not confirm a dementia diagnosis. They may, however, indicate that it could be time to explore additional support options, including memory care communities or respite care services.

Making the Move to Memory Care

Establish your loved one’s needs

Is aging in place the right choice? Is the right choice moving to an assisted living community or a memory care center? Before you can answer these questions, your family needs to first establish what your loved one needs. By talking with a licensed healthcare provider, you can better establish your loved one‘s preferences, ability levels, and daily routines, to decide, as a family, what the right level of care may be.

Explore different senior living communities

If your family decides that residential care is the best choice, don’t just find the nearest senior living community near you. Visit different communities with your loved one, talk to staff members, and simply observe daily life in these communities; doing so can give you valuable insight into what each location provides and what daily life might look like for your aging family member.

Coordinate move-in day

Many memory care communities have processes in place to support new residents and their families during the move-in transition. Coordinating timelines and logistics with staff can help create a smoother experience.

Personalize your loved one‘s new home

Bringing familiar items like family photos, fuzzy blankets, or favorite decorations can help create a sense of comfort in a new living situation.

Visit often

Regular visits can show your loved one how cherished they are, giving them peace of mind that they are still an important part of the family.

Encourage participation in community social events

Memory care communities often offer structured activities to support engagement and routine. Encouraging your loved one to participate can help acclimate them to their new space and give them opportunities to meet new people and make friends.

Have a conversation after they’ve settled in

Checking in after the move helps many families understand how their loved ones are adjusting. By having conversations with the older adult in question, families can identify any additional medical needs or preferences that make the “settling in” period less stressful.

Talk with staff members after the move

Ongoing communication with on-site senior care teams can help families keep a check on their relative’s quality of life within the community.

FAQs

What is the 90-second rule for dementia patients?

The “90-second rule” suggests that emotional responses in people living with dementia may last about 90 seconds; if distress continues beyond 90 seconds, it may be due to environmental triggers.

The 90-second rule is not clinically established. It is simply a general framework that some caregivers use.

What is the 2-finger test in dementia?

The “2-finger test” is sometimes mentioned informally in online discussions, but it is not a recognized medical or diagnostic tool. Any concerns about cognitive changes are best discussed with a qualified healthcare provider.

How often should you visit your parents in memory care?

There is no universally agreed-upon standard for how often someone should visit a family member in memory care. Every family dynamic and individual preference is different, after all. Some families visit regularly in person, while others find different ways to stay connected with calls or video chats.

What is the 40-70 rule for aging parents?

The “40-70 rule” suggests that adult children (aged ~ 40) and their parents (aged ~70) have conversations about finances, long-term care, and end-of-life plans.

Is assisted living good for patients with dementia?

Assisted living may be appropriate for some individuals experiencing early-stage Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia. As needs evolve, memory care communities may offer the specialized environment a person living with cognitive limitations requires.

Should you tell someone with dementia that they are moving to a memory care community?

There is no single best way to approach this topic. Some families choose to have immediate, open conversations to address cognitive changes, while others have more gradual discussions.

What are the stages of dementia?

Dementia is often described in stages that reflect changes in cognition and daily functioning. The progression and experience of dementia can differ significantly from person to person. That said, according to the Alzheimer’s Association, dementia typically progresses in the following three stages:

  1. Early stage/mild: This stage is when people first exhibit signs of memory loss and cognitive limitations.
  2. Middle stage/moderate: This stage often lasts the longest; symptoms become more pronounced, and a greater level of care is needed.
  3. Late stage/severe: This last stage is when someone needs around-the-clock care and can no longer readily respond to their environment.

How do I choose the right memory care community for my aging parent?

The right community for one family might look completely different than the perfect fit for another. What’s important is that the community works well for your family’s unique situation. Some factors that families frequently consider when exploring their memory care options include:

  • Staff experience
  • Daily programming
  • Safety features
  • Pricing
  • Overall feel of the community

Supporting Your Loved One During Transitional Periods

Transitioning to memory care can be one of the more challenging experiences a family faces. While the process may not be easy, having open conversations and learning what to expect when moving a parent into memory care can make it feel a little more manageable.

Disclaimer: Each person’s situation is unique. This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or financial advice, expressed or implied. Always seek the guidance of a qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have about a medical condition.

Clinically Reviewed By:
Wendy Gores, RN