Millions of people receive a dementia diagnosis every single year. When one of those people is your elderly parent, it can be a life-changing event. Adjusting to the changes in your loved one, your relationship, and your routine can be difficult. But there are ways to better navigate these changes and cope with a parent with dementia with grace.
Here’s how.
Ways to Handle a Loved One Receiving a Dementia Diagnosis
Give Yourself Time to Grieve
Watching parents age can be a surreal experience. Watching an aging parent receive a dementia diagnosis can be something else entirely, however. Take the time after a loved one receives a diagnosis to grieve—it can be healthier for you long term as well as help you better plan your next steps.
Learn About the Condition
There is truth to the saying that knowledge is power. Learning more about dementia can make navigating your next steps less overwhelming.
The most important fact to know about dementia is that it is not a singular disease. Rather, it is an umbrella term that describes a variety of conditions and diseases that cause symptoms affecting memory, problem-solving skills, and behavior.
Common forms of dementia include:
- Alzheimer’s disease, the most common cause of dementia, thought to be caused by a buildup of tau tangles and amyloid plaques in the brain.
- Vascular dementia, the second-most common type of dementia, caused by reduced blood flow to the brain.
- Lewy body dementia, caused by Lewy bodies (abnormal protein buildups) in the brain.
- Frontotemporal dementia (FTD), affecting the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain.
Each type of dementia can present different symptoms or severity of symptoms. In Alzheimer’s disease, for example, the most common sign is memory loss. Vascular dementia, on the other hand, can present difficulties with thinking quickly and clearly.
Dementia is typically divided into three stages: early, middle, and late.
- Early stages of dementia are marked by memory problems, confusion, mood swings, and difficulty concentrating. People at this stage can typically live at home after making simple modifications like installing grab bars and better lighting.
- Middle stages bring about further changes in personality, greater memory loss and reduction of problem-solving abilities, and increased difficulty completing daily tasks. People at this stage typically need to live in an assisted living community.
- Once the disease progresses to the late stages, people will have significant difficulty completing basic tasks (if they can complete them at all), may hallucinate, and be less likely to respond and interact with their surroundings. People in this stage cannot live alone and may live in a skilled nursing care or memory care facility.
Know What (Not) to Say
Communication styles will have to change, as people living with dementia experience greater difficulty understanding others and expressing themselves.
Ways to communicate with older adults with dementia include:
- Not bringing up deaths of long-deceased people
- Making eye contact
- Not directly contradicting what the person is saying
- Validating concerns and emotions
- Helping the person get hearing aids, if relevant
Help Your Loved One Help Themselves
Life changes with dementia. People living with dementia, however, will not suddenly become helpless overnight. One of the best ways to help people with this condition improve self-esteem and promote a little autonomy is to let them help themselves.
In other words: make sure your loved one has ways to practice self-help in a safe environment, so they can be independent for a little while longer. Ways to help your loved one help themselves include:
- Creating an easy-to-follow daily routine, with set meal times and bed times
- Adding enhanced password protection and identity authentication measures their devices to protect them against scams
- Encouraging them to attend group wellness classes or other social activities
- Setting up medication and appointment reminders on their phones
- Helping them get into contact with a lawyer who can help them put together necessary documents for end-of-life care
- Setting up autopay for bills and other recurring expenses
Make the Home Safer
Older adults are prone to falls. If your loved one is staying at home, help them make it a safer place.
Ways to make homes safer for older adults include:
- Adding grab bars, shower stools, and non-slip mats to bathrooms
- Installing motion-activated lighting around the house
- Removing clutter or obstacles from walkways
- Hiring in-home care services to help the senior with tasks like laundry
Practice Self-care
When taking care of someone who lives with dementia, do not forget to take care of yourself, either. Dementia caregiver burnout is real, and it can place both you and your family member at risk for worse financial, mental health, and physical health outcomes.
Take the time to:
- Attend support groups and/or therapy
- Prioritize quality sleep
- Practice self-care
- Hire respite care or adult day care services when you need a break
Find Local Resources
You don’t have to do everything alone. Find resources in your area to help you navigate this difficult time.
Resources for people with dementia or carers for people living with dementia include:
Know When It’s Time for Senior Living
As dementia progresses, family caregivers may assume more and more responsibilities or hire expensive in-home care services. Sometimes these situations can become unsustainable. When aging parents can no longer safely live alone due to dementia, it’s time to make the move to senior living.
Making the move to senior living is not an easy decision, but it can be the right one. When your family is ready to make the move, contact Avista Senior Living. Our team of compassionate professionals can do more than help you cope with a parent with dementia—they can help you learn how to communicate with them more effectively, provide them a safe living environment, and allow you the opportunity to make the most out of your time with them.
Disclaimers: This article is for informational purposes only.