We all want to be there for our friends during the good times and the bad, but sometimes it can be hard to know just what to say during a time of illness. While it’s impossible to have a one-size-fits-all approach to offering support during hard times, the following can help you find your own words of encouragement for a friend with a sick parent.
8 Tips for Offering Comforting Words During Difficult Times
Keep the following tips in mind if your friend has a loved one experiencing a serious illness.
1. Know Your Audience
Maybe you’re not religious, but your best friend is. In this case, finding some applicable Bible verses could bring your friend great comfort. The reverse is also true: if you are religious but know that your friend is not, leave mentions of God and religion out of your conversations as they might not resonate with your friend, even if you say them with the best of intentions.
Remember: this time is about providing emotional support to your friend, so your friend’s needs come first.
2. Visit in Person
If possible, visit your friend in person. Having someone physically there to provide comfort can do wonders for exhausted caregivers and grieving families, including your friend. If you cannot visit in person, try a phone call or video chat so your friend can hear your voice.
Of course, if any of these situations aren’t possible, a text message check-in can still be welcome to someone with a sick parent. Give your words of comfort and support how you can.
3. Try Active Listening
Sometimes the most important words you can say during hard times are… none. A listening ear and shoulder to cry on can sometimes say more than words. Be sure to let your friend know that you are there to listen during your check-ins.
4. Ask What Your Friend Needs
Everyone processes grief, frustration, and change differently. What works best for you may not work best for your friend. If you aren’t sure exactly what to offer your friend—advice, kind words, a listening ear, or something else—just ask.
5. Share Similar Experiences
Caring for sick parents can be an isolating experience. If you have gone through something similar, bringing up the experience can let your friend know that he or she is not alone. Just be careful not to monopolize the conversation with your experiences, though; this time should be centered on your friend and their needs, not yours.
6. Share Memories of the Sick Person
If you know your friend’s sick parent, now is the time to bring up happy memories or memories of perseverance. Reminding your friend of happier moments during this challenging time can help lift their spirits, as well as bring hope that good health is on the horizon.
7. Ask About Your Friend’s Well-Being
It’s natural to ask about the status of your friend’s loved one. In addition to asking about the sick person, though, ask about your friend’s mental health as well. Your friend could be putting on a brave face to hide their emotions for the sake of the sick relative. By asking about your friend’s well-being, you allow them the chance to alleviate some mental fatigue.
8. Be Sincere
Finding comforting words can be hard, but sincerity can shine through even if you think you’ve “failed” to say the right words. So long as what you have expressed is said with genuine concern, rest assured that you have done right by your friend.
Examples of Encouraging Words to Say to a Friend with a Sick Family Member
- “I’m keeping you in my thoughts during these tough times.”
- “I wish your mother/father a speedy recovery.” (Only use this phrase if you know your friend’s parent does not have a terminal illness.)
- “I am praying for your mother/father to get well soon.” (Only use this phrase if you know your friend is religious and that their parent does not have a terminal illness.)
- “I want you to know that I am here for you.”
- “Is there anything I can do to make this time easier for you?”
- “What do you need from me to make this time easier for your family?”
- “How are you holding up right now?”
- “Remember to take care of yourself during this time, too.”
When searching for words of encouragement for a friend with a sick parent, remember to be authentic above all else. Trust your instincts for what you believe to be the right choice of words and actions—you know your friend best of all.